IB Docs (2) Team
Paper 1: Sample Response 12 (Justin Gatlin)
This is the final in a series of four Paper 1 responses to an online article about Justin Gatlin's 2017 100 meter final win in the World Championships in Athletics. You can access online article here. Please note that only the first image was used by the IB for the examination that was set (and it's been modified here to fit the current Paper 1 requirements).
Therefore, to make it appropriate to the current Paper 1 examination, a single guiding question was added to the exam paper. It was: How does the author use language to characterize Justin Gatlin? More information about the exacts of this assessment can be found in the very first post.
As for this exemplar, you will find it is in need of much work. And that's okay! We teach students of all ranges and all abilities. Showing them a range of work is important, and discussing those small variations, or differences, helps students enormously. The first exemplar, found here, is excellent in many respects. The second exemplar, while not as good, is still strong. The third just doesn't match the level of analysis and interpretation found in the first two. But, it's adequate in all criteria. And, as said before, this one is a work in progress.
Use all four exemplars in any way you see fit. Maybe you compare and contrast them against each other. Perhaps you have students read and rank them. You might do something else entirely. But all four will offer you and your students an opportunity to discuss what good writing looks like. These exemplars also offer you the chance to talk about the expectations for Paper 1 using concrete and specific examples.
Sample Guided Textual Analysis
Guided Textual Analysis: Student Response (Justin Gatlin)
Guiding Question: How does the author use language to characterize Justin Gatlin?
Paper 1: Student Response (Justin Gatlin)
In the article by Duncan Wright, Gatlin is characterized as an unwanted and disliked person. The author uses very negative language to emphasize on the hatred that not only him but the whole world felt against Gatlin after the race. He also compares Gatlin to Bolt and characterizes Bolt as a superior who has been wronged by Gatlin.
Starting from the title of the article we can tell that Gatlin is characterized as the bad guy in this article. First, the author labels this event as a “gat-crash.” This indicates that the author sees Gatlin as an unwanted guest crashing Bolt’s “golden goodbye,” intentionally and on top of that ruining his big moment and making it his. The author also writes that “Bolt has to settle for bronze” which makes it seem like even though he deserves the gold medal he is being forced to accept something that is below his league which again characterizes Gatlin as a thief.
The second thing the author does is to bring up past mistakes constantly to make Gatlin seem unworthy of this win. The author calls Gatlin a “drugs cheat” and brings up the face that he was banned not once but twice for doping, implying that Gatlin may have cheated a third time. Wright also uses the words and actions of the audience to back his opinions and to prove that not just him but everyone feels the same way about Gatlin winning. Wright says “as the American attempted to take a leap of honour, the fans left him in no doubt he shouldn’t as they vented their anger with jeers and abuse.” Wright characterizes Gatlin in this particular sentence as a clown that was being laughed at by everyone.
Throughout the article Wright brings up past achievements of Bolt’s while bringing up Gatlin’s past mistakes. He does this to compare both of their records and to prove that the rightful owner of the gold medal would be Bolt while Gatlin deserves nothing in fact he shouldn’t have been allowed to participate given that he has cheated and messed up in races before. Towards the end of the article the author further praises Bolt saying that even though he lost he was being the bigger person and congratulating Gatlin, almost making it seem like even though Gatlin won the race the real winner in everyone’s hearts was Bolt. This makes Gatlin seem like nobody or like a inconvenience in Bolt’s “golden goodbye.”
To conclude, instead of celebrating Gatlin’s victory and making the article about his big achievement, Wright dismisses and undermines Gatlin and his abilities by characterizing him as a cheater and a thief, although all he did was win fair and square.
Word count: 451
Teacher's Comments
Criterion A: Understanding and interpretation (5 marks)
- To what extent does the student show an understanding of the text? What inferences can the student reasonably make?
- To what extent does the student support their claims with references to the text?
2 out of 5: There is some understanding of the text. The conclusion and the few points in the body paragraph are enough to award it a 2 here. But, the references are repetitive and/or not precise enough in places and there isn’t enough depth to the discussion of the text to award higher.
Criterion B: Analysis and evaluation (5 marks)
- How well does the student does the student evaluate the ways in which language and style establish meaning and effect?
2 out of 5: There is some appropriate analysis of the writer’s choices. The sentences are framed, at times, understanding that there is an author and that the author is making a choice to show his dislike toward the subject. But, the response is reliant on description at times.
Criterion C: Focus and organisation (5 marks)
- How effectively does the student structure and present their ideas?
- How balanced and focused is the response?
3 out of 5: It’s generally coherent and there is some focus here. It’s not detailed or in-depth enough, but it’s not off-topic or out of focus. The candidate tries to answer the guiding question and sticks to it.
Criterion D: Language (5 marks)
- How clear, varied, and accurate is the student’s language?
- To what extent is the student’s choice of register, style, and terminology appropriate?
3 out of 5: While a lower mark could be argued here, there is enough accuracy and overall meaning isn’t lost.
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